I'm The Best Mama

I am the best mama for my baby.

As much as I appreciate all of the advice from friends, family, and complete strangers, I know that I am the best mama for my baby. Don't we all do the best we can to be the best parents we can be?

I catch myself doing it too... "you know, this works great for my baby when he is ________."

Then I remember. This mama is also the best mama for her baby, and she probably knows what works (and has most likely tested out many methods to find that one thing), and my "peanut gallery" comments are not helping her to solve her problem or soothe her baby.

As fellow moms, we feel that other mom's pain and frustration, and we just really want to help. We've been there too. But instead of offering unwanted advice, essentially making that other mom feel like she is doing something wrong in our eyes, why don't we just offer a hand. And I don't mean a hand with the baby (she knows what she is doing, remember? Plus, who can soothe a baby better than the mama?) Offering to take the baby from her gives the impression that you think you can do it better. And you are wrong. Instead, do her dishes, carry her bag, or car seat, push her buggy, load up her stroller for her. Give her a hand with something that will enable her to give all of her attention to that baby of hers. I promise, she will really appreciate it.

Moms and mother in laws of new mamas, this goes for you as well.
Do not compare your sweet grandbaby to your own children when they were babies. And do not compare your daughter's mothering to your own. She will do it her way, and even if you think it is the "wrong" way, let her figure that out on her own. Your new mommy daughter will love you all the more for supporting her completely as she faces this huge learning curve.

To my mom and mother in law,
Thank you for your support, even if you do think that we are "spoiling" our precious boy. Thank you for keeping your comments (mostly) to yourself. Terry and I love you both an appreciate all of the help!