Friday, February 6, 2015

Sleepy Mama

Baby Price was sleeping a solid 5-7 hours and then waking for a feeding and going back to sleep for 2 or three hours for at least 2 months. And then, out of nowhere, he just stopped sleeping, sometimes waking up EVERY HOUR for no reason.

The dreaded "4 month sleep regression" has brought so much more to my little family than just sleep deprivation. As a working mom who sometimes has night duty all alone because my husband works over night, this crazy lack of a sleep schedule has made me desperate to find a solution, and with my search came some deep conversations between my husband and I about just what kind of parents we want to be and the type of parenting style we think fits our family best.

But first, the things that I read/ was told about helping my baby (and me) get more sleep:

1. Let him cry.
2. Give him cereal in his bottle.
3. Put him in his own room.
4. Give it time.
5. Don't feed him when he wakes up.
6. Feed him when he wakes up.
7. Lay him down awake, but drowsy.
8. Change his diaper.
9. Don't change his diaper.
10.  Just nap when he naps during the day. (Ha! Yeah, right. My boss would love that.)
11. Don't create any "sleep associations" (bottle, paci, rocking, bouncing, holding)
12. Don't let him see you.
13. Never put him in your bed.
... And a gazillion more.

Every child is different. I get it. But there has to be a solution that works for my baby, and none of these seem to be it. I could go through mine and my baby's reactions when some of these proposed "solutions" were tested, but let me just sum it up with the simple fact that none of this worked.

So, back to the conversation that all of this brought up between my husband and I. It went a little something like this:

Husband: "I don't want my baby to cry if he doesn't have to."
Me: "Me either."

Husband: "I love when Price sleeps in the bed with us."
Me: "Me too."

Husband: "Why would we not feed our baby if he is hungry or change him if he is wet?"
Me: "We will."

Husband: "Why would we not rock and hold him to get him to sleep if he feels safe and comfortable and likes it? And it works?"
Me: " I don't know. That's dumb."

Husband: "How did tribes back in the day do it?"
Me: "What?!?"
Husband: "I think they had the right idea. Let's do it the old way."

Anyway... It continued, and I learned that my husband is a big fan of attachment style parenting. And we learned that we are on the same page with this parenting thing, even if it seems to be a different page than the rest of the world.

We will cuddle our baby to sleep, rock him, bounce him, wear him, or whatever he is needing that night. We will lay him in his bed that is in our room, and when he wakes up hungry, we will feed him. Then we will change him if he is wet. And then, we will snuggle him back to sleep in our bed where he will sleep with us, safe, and surrounded by love, for the rest of the night.

Everybody has an opinion, and I am slowly, but surely, learning not to solicit for parenting advice. We will figure out what works for us and our baby, and that is what we will do. Even if it means that we will get absolutely no sleep in the mean time.

After all, I don't know many 15 year olds who still sleep with their parents or college kids to wet their pants or drink from bottles. I don't know a high school student who still takes a pacifier. It will all work itself out, and in the long run, our baby will never feel alone, abandoned, or sad when bed time rolls around. To me, my lack of sleep is so worth his comfort. That's what being a parent is all about; sacrifice.



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